So today is YOUR birthday, and you feel the whole world should stop what it’s doing and pat you on the back. Well I’m here to tell you  you’re wrong, The world owes you Shit! Truth is you are not special at all.
You my delusional friend share this day with millions of other people whom don’t give a fuck about you,
Or how important you think you  is. So while you believe everybody should worship the wonder of you keep that in mind. Maybe if you weren’t such an Asshole you wouldn’t have to remind everyone around you  weeks in advance about the Shitacular event about to unfold.
Perhaps if anyone truly cared you wouldn’t have to remind them at all, they would remember all on their own. But you don’t have to worry about any of that, Because you are an asshole!
Therefore you will not be showered with affection or gratitude for being so you.
The only shower you should receive, Is one of medium sized stones from a distance of no more than five feet. As for a three day or birthday weekend, Dream on Asshole you’re lucky you made it this far!
There is only one gift suited for special people like you, It’s the gift that keeps on giving, AIDS!
                                                   HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASSHOLE
 
                                                                                A.V.